Life/Death

We can only know something by knowing what it is not. We know white because we know black. We know good because we know evil. But no one knows death, so do any of us know life?

Near death experiences make people famously positive and appreciative. Cancer survivors. Car accident survivors. Plane crash survivors. Hostage survivors. Suicide attempt survivors.

They lived when death stood so close that they could feel death’s breath on the back of their necks, and we've all watched the transformations.

But I and many others have never rubbed shoulders with death with any true friction, but we have experienced near death in smaller ways. Like after a hard run, when I cannot breath or fall down or stand still or move or drink water or stay away from water, when time is nothing but pain and heat and no oxygen, I literally feel like I am going to die. And it is the most alive I have ever felt. It is the same with bungee jumping or skydiving or driving over the speed limit. Flirting with the cusp of death, dancing our numb toes around the threshold, hoping we can slide one through unnoticed, hoping that we never get close.

We have always held our lives in our hands like little boxes that we did not know were there. We also do not recognize air pressure as being there even though it has been there from the womb. Every day we walk around with a column of air as deep as the sky pressing into every inch of our body, pushing us into the earth. But we do not feel a thing. We can’t, because we know no differently. It has always been there just as life has always been there. We have always held life, and only when life is threatened, violently yanked away and we catch it with the tips of our fingers, do we look down in wonder at what we are holding, seeing it for the first time. Because what has always been almost was not.

But maybe a glance around the curtain to the other side is not what makes people appreciate life. Maybe what changes a person is seeing the full view of life as never seen before. Pressed against the thin curtain, feeling the threadbare fabric rippling against your back, for the first time, you see life in panoramic view. See life for everything it contains—all the joy and wonder and beauty and all the bullshit and pain and suffering. 

And from that perspective, so close to losing it all, it is worth it. Everything.

I Hate Candy Canes

12-21-10

Snow is teasing school children, pine trees are leaning against grocery stores, and Christmas music is playing on a loop. Tis the season of giving…candy canes, that is, from overweight men dressed in Santa costumes.

I’m sitting in the Nashville airport after 12 hours of flying across continents and an ocean. It is 9:00pm here and 3:00am where I left. I’m doing good just sitting up straight and remaining conscious as I wait for my brother and little sister to pick me up and carry me home for the holidays, when I hear it, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” Turning my head, I see them—two tired airport employees dressed like Mr. and Mrs. Clause, each carrying a basket of candy canes, and they are heading straight towards me.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas,” Santa says, handing me a candy cane.

“Merry Christmas,” I say. “Thank you,” and accept the candy cane.

“And what do you want for Christmas?”

“I’m just happy to be here.”

“But that’s not enough.”

“No, I’m just very happy to be here.”

He looks uncomfortable for a moment, but spotting a little kid, the duo moves on, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” echoing through the baggage claim.

I look down at the cellophane-coated candy cane in my hand. I have never liked candy canes. They are entirely too much candy, and they are always sticky, despite being unopened, making me wonder if the plastic is an extension of the candy or if the candy an extension of the plastic. Nevertheless, every year around Christmas, I am compelled to eat at least one candy cane, thinking, “This is the one! This is the candy cane that I will finally enjoy.”

Hopes high, I unwrap the plastic from the non-hooked end and begin sucking. Then I remember one important detail. I hate peppermint candy. My Mom loves peppermint candy, so the taste reminds me of her, which is a happy thought. But it does not change the fact that I hate peppermint candy. So after four minutes of sucking and wondering, “Why am I eating this?” the inevitable occurs: the end of the candy cane transforms into a lethal spear. It’s like holding a mini javelin between your teeth. And there is no way to avoid the spear from forming, because the only way to eat a candy cane is to suck it. I cannot bite it, because then the tacky pieces of candy stick inside the crannies of my teeth, forming images of diabolical dentist drills furiously boring into black, rotting cavities.

This candy cane is dead to me.

And then like I every year, I look down at the rejected, partially-eaten candy cane in my hand, and think, “I should save this for later.”

Why? Why would you ever want to save a candy cane for later? You know that you are not going to eat it later. You did not enjoy it in the first place. Why save it? Because I hate wasting food, even if it is plastic.

But the fact is, you can’t save a candy cane for later. Because by the time you decide to save it, drool has run down all sides of it, making the plastic that you would wrap it in all slobbery. Gross.

Buzz! My phone sounds.

“I’m here!” My brother screams.

“I’ll be right out!”

Waking out the door, I pass a trashcan and toss the candy cane inside, wiping my hand on my jeans.

Why do I do this?

Hosteling in the UK: the Do's, the Don'ts, and the How-To's

If you are studying abroad in the UK, then part of the abroad experience is those weekend to weeklong backpacking adventures, and on those adventures, you will most likely be staying in hostels. The following post is based on my experience in UK hostels, but from my research and from talking with other travelers, this post applies to most hostels in Europe and in the United States.

What is a hostel?

A hostel is a low budget accommodation where you rent a bed for a set number of nights. Hostels offer private rooms (one bed), double rooms (2 beds), and then rooms with anywhere from 6 to 40 beds. Rooms contain bunk beds and are either single-sex or mixed-sex. Single-sex rooms are more expensive than mixed-sex rooms and the more beds in a room, the cheaper the bed.

Most hostels have a strict age limit of 18-35, making hostels a great place to meet other young, international travelers. Don’t be shy. Most travelers are friendly, interesting, speak English, and have a lot to offer in terms of learning about another human being from another part of the world. You might have a good conversation. You might find someone to travel with for the next day or the next leg of your journey, or you might make a friend from another part of the world, giving you both a reason to visit that part of the world and a free place to stay once you arrive. You never know.

Booking Your Hostel:

Book your hostel as soon as you plan your trip, and definitely book your hostel at least a week in advance. Hostels fill up fast, especially in big cities on the weekends, and the cheapest beds are always taken first.

To book a hostel, use hostelworld. It is an easy site to navigate, and it provides a list of reliable reviews for every hostel. The reviews are written by people like you who booked their bed through hostelworld. The price of a hostel does not always indicate its quality, its perks, or its location. So read the reviews, and remember to pay it forward and write one of your own after your stay. Also, look at the hostel website to note what amenities it offers like linens, lockers, breakfast, and a possible curfew.

Hostelworld requires you to pay a $2 service charge and a percentage of the bill online. You pay the remaining balance when you check-in to the hostel. If you do not cancel your stay online 24 hours in advance, then you will have to pay the remaining balance whether you arrive or not.

For $10 you can purchase a Gold Card, which lasts for a year and pardons you from paying the $2 service charge. If you plan on staying in more than 5 hostels over the course of a year, then a Gold Card is worth the investment. If you are studying abroad, then buy a Gold Card; you should make well over 5 trips over the course of the term.

All hostels contain:

-A common room with couches, chairs, TV, and sometimes board games and books where you can relax or socialize with other travelers

-A communal kitchen equipped with standard cookware, where you can prepare and store food. You are responsible for cleaning up after yourself and for putting away what you used. Remember to write your name on your food, and don’t worry about people taking it; food stealing is rare. Most hostels have a shelf labeled “Free Food” stocked with leftover food. Don’t let it go to waste; help yourself to it.

-Toilet, shower, and sink area down a hallway that can be mixed-sex or single-sex. Some of the more expensive hostel rooms will have a bathroom attached to the room. Some rooms contain sinks and a mirror. Most hostels have lockers near the showers where you can temporarily store your belongings.

Most hostels provide:

-Free wifi

-Around 5 desktop computers that you can use for a fee of 50p to £1 per half hour

-Breakfast consisting of dry cereal (usually plain cornflakes), milk, coffee, tea, and toast with butter and jam (and Nutella if you are lucky). Some hostel breakfasts will provide other breakfast foods like yogurt or juice.

Some hostels provide:

-A book exchange, which is a bookshelf that you can take a book from and replace it with a book of your own. Hostel book exchanges are a great way to pick up travel books or to find a good read for those train, coach, or plane rides.

-Free or discounted tours of the city connected with a local tour company. There will usually be signs, but just ask.

-Labor in exchange for accommodation, meaning you can stay in the hostel free of charge in exchange for working in the hostel for a few hours the next day. The work usually consists of cleaning but could also include working the front desk. This option is great for saving money, but it will cut into your travel time, especially since the cleaning usually begins after checkout, around 10:00 am or 12:00 pm.

-Pub crawls, which are like organized bar hopping.

-All day complimentary tea, coffee, hot coco, and milk in the kitchen

Do Bring to a Hostel:

-Passport—you will need a form of photo identification when checking-in. Plus, you should always carry your passport in a secure location on your person when traveling in a foreign country.

-Lock—all hostels should provide a locker per bed for you to secure your belongings in. You can rent a lock for a £2 to £5 fee, or you can bring your own. Only one hostel that I have stayed in required you to purchase a special swipe card in order to access the bed locker. The lockers are big enough to hold a backpack and a coat, so pack light and do not bring a suitcase. Hostels should provide a storage room for larger bags, but these rooms are not secured and sometimes required a fee to access.

-Towel—you can rent a towel for a fee of 20p to £1, but I recommend bringing your own. Remember, packing light is key, so I bring a small hand towel, which works fine and does exactly what a big bath towel does.

-Small flashlight—please, please, please do not forget to bring a small flashlight. When you come into the hostel room, it will most likely be dark and people will be trying to sleep. Use the small flashlight to silently navigate the room, and remember not to shine it in anyone’s eyes. You can also use a phone light in place of a small flashlight.

-Travel alarm clock—bring one that you can sleep with next to your head, because there will not be a stand to place it on. Be considerate and turn it off as soon as it starts beeping.

-Earplugs—if you are sensitive to noise, then wear earplugs when sleeping. Unless you get a private room, then you are sleeping in a room with multiple people who have multiple habits of getting in for the night, waking up in the morning, snoring, talking, moving, unpacking, packing, and the occasional romantic encounter. Noise can also come in from the hallways or from the city outside.

-Eye mask—if you are sensitive to light, then wear an eye mask for many of the same reasons listed above for wearing earplugs.

-Travel size shampoo, body soap, floss, and toothpaste with toothbrush—you can purchase most toiletries at the front desk, but why not save money and bring your own.

-Waterproof sandals for the shower

-Adapter for cell phone and camera charger

-Linens and inflatable pillow—Most hostels provide linens and a pillow free of charge, but check the hostel website to be sure. If they don’t provide linens and pillow, then you can rent these items on site or you can bring your own. To bring your own, pack an inflatable pillow and sleeping bag or sleep-sack, which is like a pillowcase for your body.

-Money belt—this is a zipped pouch you strap around your waist and wear concealed under your pants. It is a standard travel accessory worn to safely store small, important items like money, credit cards, keys, and tickets. Wear it at all times. Sleep in it. Keep it close and within sight when showering.

-Plastic grocery or Ziploc bags—great for storing wet items or items that might leak

Do Not Bring to a Hostel

-Valuables—unnecessary and stupid

-Large bag—see “Lock” under “Do Bring to a Hostel” in the list above. The key to backpacking is packing light, not just because you have to carry everything you bring with you but also because there is little space to securely store your stuff.

-Laptop—Many people do bring laptops to hostels when backpacking, but I say leave them behind. Remember that the key to backpacking is packing light and that you do not want to bring valuables with you. Laptops are heavy valuables. Free yourself from cyberspace for a few days. Even facebook can wait. If you must use a computer, Internet cafés sprinkle most cities and most hostels provide computers, making lugging your own computer around unnecessary.

Extra Hostel Tips:

-Know how to get to your hostel. Before you leave, write down directions from your drop-off point to the hostel.

-Many hostels have 24-hour accessibility, but some hostels have curfews. Check the hostel policy, because if there is a curfew, they will lock the doors.

-Make your bed as soon as you check-in so you will not have to do it later when you are tired and when more people are trying to sleep.

-To reduce weight in your backpack, do not pack pajamas and instead sleep in your clothes for the next day.

-To save money, buy food from a grocery store and prepare it in the hostel kitchen instead of buying food from a restaurant or from a fast food joint. Prepare food that keeps fresh at backpack temperature, so you can pack it and take it with you for lunch and dinner the next day. Bringing collapsible food containers helps.

Other Accommodation Options Besides Hostels:

-Camping

-Bed & Breakfasts

-Couchsurfing

-Hotels

For backpacking tips, see How to Backpack the UK in 10 Steps.

My first UK hostel bed. Edinburgh, Scotland. Caledonian Backpackers. Best hostel I have stayed in. 

Thoughts While Staying the Night in a Hotel Alone

January 9, 2011

If your little sister bakes you 30 oatmeal cranberry cookies to take with you to England, and you put them in a plastic bag and put that bag in your suitcase, the cookies will all come together in a group hug. And what is better than 30 individual oatmeal cranberry cookies? One giant oatmeal cranberry cookie of love.

Why do all hotel rooms contain Bibles, and how did that tradition start?

Has anyone ever read a hotel room Bible?

Has anyone ever had a “come to Jesus moment" while reading a hotel room Bible?

Are the Bibles there to combat the pay-per-view porn and illicit sex hotel rooms are so commonly known for? How’s that going for them?

There is something so lonely about hotel rooms. Barren closet. Empty drawers. Bed sheets unwrinkled. Nothing that says, “Hey, people live here.” But the biggest thing that gets me, the thing that says, “you don’t belong here,” is the total lack of personal photographs. In fact there are no photographs. Just cheap prints of trees. I don’t know why hotels always hang pictures of trees in their rooms. Maybe tree pictures flood the market and they are the cheapest prints to buy.

I do not own a television. I have no desire to ever own a television. When I was five, my parents disconnected the cable in our house, and nothing but a static channel three has surfaced from TV-land since.
We kept the television to watch movies, but now if I want to watch a movie, then I do so on my computer. I admit, once and a while, I will get into a television show that I’ll stream on my laptop. But for the most part, just looking at a television I feel my life fading into meaninglessness and my mind jumping off a cliff into a garbage heap.
But for whatever reason, whenever I am in a hotel room, I get the overwhelming urge to turn on that black box. And even though I have read again and again that the television remote has the highest bacteria count of every object in a hotel room, I don’t want to press the button on the television. I want to pick up that remote and press that red, bacteria-cultured button and watch that screen turn technicolor.

So as soon as I walk into the hotel room, I see it—big, black, glossy.
I set down my bags.

Nope, not going to do it.

I toss my coat on the chair.

Still not doing it.

I sit on the bed—the place of comfort, privacy, vulnerability. And it watches me, reflecting me and everything in the room, as though saying, “Oh yeah, you think I’m worthless, look at your life.”

I take off my shoes, the screen reflecting every motion, throwing it back at me—that I’m the only one moving. That I’m the only one in the room. That I am alone.

Not only does the screen stare at the bed, but the remote boarders it, set on top of the nightstand, so convenient for the person laying down to just reach over and…

I grab it, pressing the red button, telling myself, “It’s the only way to have another human voice in the room,” and proceed to watch the movie Hitch on some station for the next two hours. Great film btw.

Did you ever see the 1950 Disney animated movie Cinderella? In the film the king sleeps on a bed the size of a ballroom. When I was younger, I wanted that bed. Because if I had that bed, then I could have the biggest sleepovers ever, and no one would have to sleep on the floor, and we could all jump on the bed like it was a massive trampoline and have a huge pillow fight. It would have been awesome.

Well, in this hotel room, the bed is not quite the size of a ballroom, but it is a king size bed. And besides being able to lay on the bed in any direction and not having my feet hang off the edge, it is not at all cool sleeping alone in a bed big enough for four people. It just makes me feel small and lonely.

I officially took the best shower of my life. The towels smelled like just-baked, syrup-drenched waffles. Needless to say, I buried my face into the stack and just stood there breathing for a length of time that I will not mention here. I am really hoping the continental breakfast tomorrow includes waffles, because I am really craving some right now. Note to self: ask the receptionist which laundry detergent the hotel uses and where I can buy some.

Obligatory Bible in the Hotel Room

Obligatory Tree Picture in the Hotel Room

How to Backpack the UK in 10 Steps

Studying abroad in the UK? Then most likely you are not just there to do the “study” part of “study abroad.” You are also there to experience another part of the world. So throw the books out of your backpack (since you have already completed all your school work, of course) and get ready for those weekend to weeklong backpacking adventures. These 10 steps will show you how.

1. Pack Light.

When backpacking you will literally be carrying everything you take with you on your back. No matter how light you pack, you will feel the weight—all of the weight. So begin with an empty backpack and before placing any item inside, ask yourself, “What necessary function will this serve?” If it doesn’t own up, leave it behind. Packing light is key, and the key to packing light is necessary functionality. Don’t cheat by bringing a big bag. A school-size backpack is all you need.

2. Take Minimal Clothing

-When traveling, the function of clothing is to cover you, not to impress.
-Remember, you set out already wearing several articles of clothing. Take them into account.

-Look up the weather forecast and pack accordingly.

-If torn between two articles of the same clothing, for example a shirt, choose the shirt that weighs less. If you are traveling in cold weather, then choose the warmer shirt.

-Do not pack shoes. Wear one durable and supportive pair that you can wear every day in all weather. I suggest hiking boots or Chacos.

-Do not pack pajamas. Shower at night and sleep in your clothes for the next day. If you are traveling in cold weather, then sleep in your long-johns. And yes, if it is cold, always bring long-johns.

-Wear the same clothes more than once.

-Traveling for a week without ever having to do laundry requires no more than one pair of pants, three shirts, three pairs of socks, six pairs of underwear, and two bras—this list includes the set of clothes you are wearing when you set out.

-Laundry mats are available but expensive, and if you packed enough to fill a washer, then you packed too much. If you must do laundry, then bring along a bar of laundry soap like Fels Naptha or Zote and wash your clothes in a hostel sink.

3. Chest and a Hip Buckles Are a Must

Use a backpack that has both a chest and a hip buckle. These buckles transfer the weight of your backpack away from your shoulders and back and onto your hips. Without them, your back will ache and your shoulders will literally feel like they are killing you. Buckle up so you can focus on where you are, not on how long until the next time you can sit down because your back and shoulders are committing mutiny.

4. Research

When traveling, you have a limited amount of time to spend at your destination. Spend that time exploring, not figuring out what there is to explore or how to get there. What peaks your interest? Museums? Theatre? Local cuisine? Walking tours? Local music? Use the Internet and write down the information in a notebook. (Don’t forget to take the notebook with you!)

For example, if you like museums, write down the name of the museum, its address, telephone number, hours of operation, admission cost, and, an often overlooked but critical piece of information, the closest underground or bus stop.

There is a valid argument for exploring on the fly, and you can still do that. You are not bound to your research. But research gives you options and saves you time.

Two more tips:

-Write down the directions from your drop-off point (train or bus) to where you will be staying the night.

-Write down the daily weather forecast so you can plan your days accordingly.

5. Book in Advance

Book your train tickets, bus tickets, and hostel beds at minimum a week in advance. If you can book a month ahead of time, then do it. Not only will booking in advance save you significant money, it will guarantee you a reservation. Trains and buses do not always fill up, so you can usually buy a ticket the day of, but the price could mean the difference between a £3 ticket and a £60 ticket. Hostels on the other hand do fill up, especially on the weekends in big cities like London. If you want a bed for the night, don’t wait to book one. If you plan to travel by train often and if you are a full-time student or between the ages 16-25, then it is worth purchasing a rail card. It costs £26, lasts for a year, and saves you 1/3 off all train tickets.

6. Food aka The most important lesson I learned: Backpacking=Collapsible food containers

Food is a constant expense that can add up fast. Don’t let it. Skip the restaurants and fast food and head to the grocery store. Buying one meal at a restaurant can equal the price of buying three days worth of food at a grocery store. (Seriously, £10 can go a long way.) Buy versatile foods like bread, apples, and peanut butter that you can make several, filling meals out of.

Furthermore, all hostels should have kitchens for you to use equipped with all standard cookware. Take advantage of them. Cook up a big meal for dinner like pasta that will keep at backpack temperature for at least 24 hrs and pack the leftovers for the next day’s lunch and dinner. Don’t forget to bring the collapsible food containers. Ziplock bags also work and are lighter but far worse for the environment.

7. Find the Free Stuff

Save money and take advantage of the free stuff. Many museums, especially in London, have free admission. Other museums have certain days that have free admission or are discounted. London and Edinburgh have free walking tours, both of which I have been on and highly recommend. Certain restaurants provide discount meals to backpackers. Theatres have matinee shows, which are cheaper than regular shows. Parks are free. And of course, it costs nothing to walk around and explore.

If you are a student, milk it. Ask. Ask. Ask for student discounts. Students receive discounts on train tickets, at clothing stores, on theatre tickets, on museum admission, at restaurants. You never know where you might get a student discount, so carry your student ID or student visa and ask.

8. Hostels

If you are backpacking the UK, then you will most likely be sleeping in hostels. Other options are bed and breakfasts, couchsurfing, and camping. I will be posting a future article exclusively on the do’s, the don'ts, and the how-to's of hostels for backpackers.

9. Sleep

Get a good night’s rest every night. You might never get to see this place again, so make sure that you can keep your eyes open and enjoy it.

10. Freedom, Baby!

Backpacking is liberating. You realize how little you need and how free you really are. The world is yours to explore, and all you need to take with you is a backpack. Good luck and get ready; it’s addictive.

London Backpacking Adventure

On a Date with a Bald Albino Lady

So you are sitting in the airport. Plenty of time until boarding. Bags safely by your side. Coat nicely folded over your lap. Enjoying the prime setting for your favorite activity—people-watching. And then it hits—the dreaded inevitable of solo flying—you have to pee.

No.

I cross my legs.

No.

Pressure building.

Fine.

Pee is a dictator. It does not negotiate.

The problem with using a toilet stall in an airport is that airport designers assume that everyone travels with that convenient other person who watches your bags every time nature calls, making airport stalls the same size as all toilet stalls—big enough for you and a roll of toilet paper, not big enough for you and luggage, especially not a semester’s worth of luggage. Since you do not have that convenient other person and asking a stranger to watch your stuff is risking being arrested as a terrorist, you shoulder your bags, throw your coat under your arm, grab hold of your suitcase, and proceed towards the little bald albino lady in the triangle skirt.

Once there you wait in line for at least five minutes, which is fine, except for your bag slipping off your shoulder every 45 seconds, which you can feel slowly working its way down in small jerks, millimeter by millimeter. While gravity and you battle it out, women and small children with all their luggage are trying to get past you with all your luggage. As they move one way you move the other way in a little dance of  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” trying so hard to be courteous, but no matter where you shuffle, the suitcases collide like two dogs sniffing each other in failed unobtrusiveness.

Finally, you reach the front of the line. A door opens. A woman walks out. You start moving. You can see the inside of the stall. And then you stop.

You look down at your suitcase. You look at your overstuffed laptop bag and coat and feel the weight of your backpack. You look back at the stall.

How to fit?

Airport designers need to address this issue. I suggest bigger stalls with more hooks. Designated “convenient other persons” for solo travelers would be nice, too.