Tipping over onto the road and then being run over by a car. Not a fear of tripping and falling into the road. Not a fear of being pushed into oncoming traffic. Not a fear of a car veering off the road and hitting me. I have a fear of just walking along the sidewalk and then tipping over like a pencil onto the road and being run over. Tip. Oh dear. Splat.
Irrational Fear #2
“I know [noun] like the back of my hand.” I have heard people make this claim my entire life, and the amount of people that I have heard make this claim, implies that everyone should know the backs of their hands in exquisite detail. But when I close my eyes, I cannot picture the backs of my hands, and even when I look at the backs of my hands, I do not think that they look very different from the backs of other people’s hands. But everyone is supposed to know the backs of their hands, right? So the fact that I don’t know the backs of my hands has always triggered the irrational fear that if my hands are ever chopped off and tossed into a green Rubbermaid tub filled with other Caucasian chopped off hands, and using my nubs, I have to dig though the tub to find my hands, I will not be able to find them. I will never get my hands back, and I will have nubs for the rest of my life, because I do not know the backs of my hands.
(See nub photo-shoot below.)
Irrational Fear #3
Getting trapped in an elevator with a serial killer.
Irrational Fear #4
While reading about ninjas several years ago, I came across an account of a ninja crouching below his target’s toilet for an entire day, spear aimed, waiting for his victim to sit down and…ouch. After reading that story, I did not fear a ninja crouching below my toilet, because we do not use holes on benches for toilets anymore. But I began to worry that something could be waiting in the toilet to attack me, and that something could be sharp. Soon that something took the shape of a water snake, lurking in the toilet pipes just waiting for someone (me) to sit down and… bite! Thankfully, this fear rarely comes to mind anymore, but every now and then while doing my business, I’ll think, “Man, a snake bite would really hurt.”
Irrational Fear #5
Turtlenecks. They are fine on other people. Elegant even. But if I wear one, it will slowly and ruthlessly choke me over the course of the day, and I will die.
What are your irrational fears?
Now, for my nub photo-shoot. Courtesy of Sarah.
I'm afraid that whenever I hit my head it will smash into pieces like a pumpkin on Halloween. :(
ReplyDeleteAMEN sista a/b the tur-turs. Can't stand them and they make me think I'm choking slowly by a wool induced grip.
ReplyDeleteOne of my greatest, yet stupid, fears is severely twisting my ankle while walking down the sidewalk. Hence the reason I cannot walk near the side, rather I have to walk in the middle of the sidewalk. [So I won't get run over by a car whilst I am holding my sprained ankle.]
Also, after I turn out the lights at night I have to run and jump into my bed - just in case there is any sort of small creature under the bed or on the floor that has suddenly appeared. Somehow, I have reasoned, these creatures are unable to climp into the bed with me
Completely irrational!
XO
katie
There are several of these i am also in agreement of.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid of just tipping over into traffic. I am also afraid occasionally that a snake will bite my ass. I also run and jump into bed after shutting off the lights sometimes :)
I am also afraid of eating in the car... My fear comes from the fact that if i get in a wreck and my airbag goes off the spoon or fork will be shoved into my mouth... OUCHH!
I do think that you could find your hands. hahah I could. i know what your fingers look like.... i can picture it in my head. SO if this ever happens you can call me up and i will help you not remain with nubs