10 Things I Miss from England that America Should Adopt

1. People

GET OVER HERE NOW! I MISS YOU!

2. Tea Time

Mmmmmmmmmmm……Oh, how I miss, thee, my love.

3. Trains

I drive an hour to and an hour from work every day. Why am I not on a train doing something useful with my life like sleeping, reading, or writing instead of pumping fumes into the atmosphere and stomping on the brake, wanting to throw a baseball into traffic’s face?

4. Kisses

England: Meet someone = Kiss on cheek. Say good-bye to someone = Kiss on cheek.

America: Meet someone = Handshake or Curt Nod. Say good-bye to someone = Handshake or Curt Nod.

Beloved country of mine, show me some love!

5. Drinking age

I hardly drink, and when I do I rarely drink a full serving, but America, get off your neutered Puritan horse and lower the drinking age to 18. If we can vote for our Commander in Chief and then raise a loaded weapon in his/her service, we should be allowed to raise a glass. Cheers.

6. English Accent

America, can we sound any blander? Let’s add a little music to our yapping.

7. Smaller Cars

While abroad, I did not see a single SUV, and the only vans and trucks seen were service vehicles. America, with 2.3 children per household and gas prices rising faster than a teenager’s sex drive, why do families of 4 own vehicles with 9 seats, and why must all American 5-seat vehicles (i.e. cars and SUVs) be 3 times larger than English 5-seat vehicles?

P.S. How much “sport” is in SUV if the US could pay back its debt by turning its obese into gold?

P.S.S. Am I fully aware that I drive a purple minivan? Yes.

8. University Classes Beginning in Early October

I am so not ready to go back to class September 1. Administrators, how about another month, eh?

9. Carrots

Carrots are one of my taste buds favorite visitors, and for some reason, English carrots are more fragrantly flavorful than American carrots. Better soil, perhaps?

10. Eggs

English eggs contain more flavor and a better texture than any American egg I have ever cracked. One American egg is not very filling and is improved upon significantly with salt and pepper. One English egg satisfies for an entire morning and to add salt and pepper would be a waste of good spice.