Gut-Nagging

Since this summer is my last summer cradled in the security of college before the bitch-slap reality of post-graduation, I knew that if I was serious about pursuing theatre, then this summer I needed work in a theatre, gaining experience and building contacts. So this spring, I combed the internet for theatre jobs and internships, and in the process, developed this crazy, gut-nagging sense that I should spend this summer working with kids.

Here is the thing: I never, never, never wanted or envisioned myself working with kids. I am passionate about kids learning the intertwined craft and life-skills of theatre while having a hell-a fun, but I did not want to be the one to teach them those things. I saw kids how I saw people’s pets: They are fine and good and all that, but I don’t want to deal with them. They are annoying; they make too much noise; and they are grimy to the touch. I respect them; I will not hurt them. (Hell, I’m a vegetarian.) But keep them to yourself and away from me; because I don’t connect with them, and they don’t connect with me.

But for some reason, I followed that crazy, gut-nagging sense and landed an internship with the Nashville Children’s Theatre (NCT).

When I told friends what I was doing this summer, they responded with versions of, “Wow that’s so cool. You’re going to have such a fun time. Kids are great.” Each time, I smiled weakly, mumbling, “Uh-huh,” and quickly changed the subject, all the while thinking, “WTF am I doing?!?!?!?!”

Now, in my sixth week of summer camp at NCT, I never want to not work with kids again. I love my job. I love it. I now know nothing more fun or rewarding in this world than creating theatre with kids. And I can connect with them, and they can connect with me. I just had to allow myself to open up to them: open to their affection, to their silliness, to their playfulness, to their wonder, to their humanity, to the realization that, though small, they are complete, rapidly growing human beings just trying to live their best life moment to moment, day to day, same as me.

Working with kids is making me a better person—more patient, more compassionate, more caring, more understanding, more fun, more aware. I'm not talking leaps and bounds here; I'm talking that I'm a little better of a person than who I was before I began working with these kids.

Box Office of NCT